Finally I can see some real progress!!!
For the first time this isn’t just being able to manage my emotions. It is being able to look back on my behavior and recognize that it was wrong. I thought that I could understand it before... but I honestly couldn't. This has been the first real moment of clarity in a long time, and I'm trying as hard as I can to hold on to it.
I was told that when I spoke to people it would only bring them down… I finally see why.
Before I had no idea, when I was told this I was just confused. I couldn’t figure out why, I couldn’t think of what would bring them down or why I was hard to talk to…
This disease has been the hardest, most damaging, and most emotionally scarring thing I have EVER had to deal with. It has been more than 15 years of living with this and only now am I starting to see a break in the fog…
This is a very painfully slow process.
But showing some signs of change is encouraging…
